Watching

Take the story of your indifference 

And shove it where the sun don't shine

I have seen your searching gaze

Stop at my face

Like a guilty schoolboy

That has found chocolate.

Relax, it's only chocolate.

Longing

The end of every nerve

Is a beckoning pair of arms

Is a pouting mouth inviting your kiss

Every fiber is filled with the longing

To be filled by you your presence your shining smile

Your ascetic eyes that I know I can heat up

To an inferno

Of longing.

Anger

I love you.
It is only this beast inside that wants to hurt your little limbs
And cause you pain
And make you cry
When you won't listen.
I love you
I do
And I'm sorry I was angry.

An addict

I cannot imagine a life without your insidious swirls
Your delicious whorls.
Your loss is merely the wait
For the next heady time
I put my lips to yours.

Prayer

To find my strength in music and myself
To wear a dignified heart on my sleeve
To love my child without reservations and frustrations
To conquer addiction and irritability
To weave stories and string poetry
Around a life not wasted
In endless rebound.

Guess What!

Suddenly I have a muse
Poetry is bubbling out of me
Sparkly like champagne
Delicious and heady!

Like a childhood crush
Completely inappropriate
For a woman grown
I have a little muse of my own!

She is recalcitrant and surly
Unsmiling and dour
Yet I love my little muse
I write a poem every hour!

May you never know any pain

You are so fragile
Your translucent perfect skin
The dimples in your elbows and in your knuckles
Your luminous eyes covered now with gossamer eyelids
Long lashes that rest on your satin cheek
Your soft chubby fingers that sleepily seek my arms
And your silky black brown hair on the pillow.

How to define this urge to cocoon you with my body
Wrap myself around your every fear
Smash your every monster
Block all malicious intent
Blunt every sharp thorn
Gouge out each evil eye
Within a 50 mile radius.

When I soothe your sadnesses and kiss your tears
And say "Never mind, my darling."
What I really mean is
May you never know any pain.

Blocked

I do not want to know where you are
Whether you're awake
Whether you're thinking of me
My smile my eyes my laughing mouth.

My curiosity and your strange lack of it
Are difficult to reconcile
Do you not wonder about me
My life my pains my joys my loves
The way I wonder about yours
In any case
It is best I suppose
To kill it
Before it kills the cat.

Oh I want to go

Oh I want to go to go
To drink with boys.
Oh I want to go to go
To wax eloquent
To be maudlin
Oh I want to go to go
Dance on the tables
Blow kisses in the air
But oh dear god I'm not there

Duty

You tap coyly on my shoulder
Your ugly face
And it's righteous smirk
Know the futility of my resistance.

You do not care that I'd rather be
A girl
With a boy
At his place or mine.

Instead I'm stuck with you
And he is too.

I hope not

Am I only imagining the heat
In your gaze
As it meets mine
Over the rim of your glass?

I pray that it is not only the alcohol
May it have
A little lust
A little love
A little dream
That's not of your wine.
That's not of your wife.

SOS, Desperate

I am desperately tracing the outlines of my varicose veins
Touching the skin tags on my face and the lines on my throat
The curve of my belly and my over-abundant breasts
For something lost.

Something that my gleaming spectacles
And my cellulite have not fully forgotten
As the brightness
The lightness
The quickened gasp
The flutter in the heart
The hope and the charm
Of romance.